just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize