Where are you?
In a non slutty way
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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