Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
