If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
