I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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