I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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