Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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