So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
