you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Randomize
