I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
