Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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