i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
