if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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