can we get nightvision for the apartment?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
