I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize