i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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