he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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