her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
