maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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