I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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