Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
