i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
