He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
