About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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