All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
