Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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