we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
