The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
she peed on how many people?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
