so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
