My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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