Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
