I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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