Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
