I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
