Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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