You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
