so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Your cock deserves a montage
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
