Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
