last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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