how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
