There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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