Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
