yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
