had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
In America we eat man semen.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
