Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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