I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
