I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
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