1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
