and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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