This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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