So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
