he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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