idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
