Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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