Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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