What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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