would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
