Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
